Learning How to Fight Fair

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. However, the way that you fight makes a significant difference in the quality of your relationships–as well as the way in which you resolve that conflict.

How to Fight Fair

Many psychologists, counselors, and pastors may have tips for you, but here are a few that come from Hey Sigmund.com to help you fight fair:

Don’t fear conflict — avoiding conflict is very unhealthy!
Attack the issue, not each other — remember you’re on the same team!
Stay on the issue at hand — don’t bring up mistakes or sins of the past.
Don’t confuse topics with the issue
Don’t downplay the issue
Don’t withdraw or chase
Be open about what you need — your partner is not a mind reader
Find the real emotion behind the anger
Be attentive
Don’t yell
Stay away from “you never” and “you always”
Be curious — ask questions and show you care about how your partner feels
Remember that nobody is perfect — not your significant other and not you
Apologize
If you’re going around in circles, take a break
Find the common ground
Learn to compromise
Don’t leave the fight unfinished

Remember the Importance of Forgiveness

If you have a fight, you need to make sure to forgive each other. Talk through your issue, but make sure that you both verbally say, “I’m sorry, I acknowledge your feelings. Will you forgive me?” Make sure that you forgive each other. If you need some time to cool down, tell your partner that you need a little space, but decide ahead of time that you will resume your conversation at a specific time.